So Glad You Asked
Conversations on career, leadership and living an intentional life with CliftonStrengths® Certified Life & Career Coach and Founder of Whole Human Co. Jean Madison
Please follow, rate and review - and join the conversation over on my instagram @jeanmadison_ - I’ll be taking episode requests and more over there!
So Glad You Asked
How To Build & Utilize Your Network the Whole Human Way
Tired of traditional networking that feels forced and inauthentic? Join Jean Madison as she shares her personal journey and practical tips for building and utilizing your network from a human-centered approach. Perfect for introverts and anyone who dreads the "icky" feeling of traditional networking events. Learn how to leverage your strengths, overcome barriers, and build genuine connections that support your career and business goals.
Episode Summary:
In this episode, Jean Madison challenges the conventional view of networking, emphasizing a more human and authentic approach. She addresses the common discomfort many feel with traditional networking and offers strategies for building and utilizing your network, especially if you're an introvert or find networking daunting. Jean highlights the importance of understanding your personal networking style, leveraging your strengths, and recognizing the untapped potential of your inner circle.
What We'll Cover:
- The "Icky" Feeling of Traditional Networking: Understanding why traditional networking can feel inauthentic and how to overcome it.
- Introvert-Friendly Networking: Strategies for introverts to build and utilize their network effectively.
- Accepting Your Networking Style: Recognizing your strengths and weaknesses in networking and tailoring your approach accordingly.
- Building Your Network Authentically: Tips for creating genuine connections and building a supportive community.
- Utilizing Your Network Effectively: How to lean on your community for support without feeling salesy or burdensome.
- Overcoming Barriers to Networking: Addressing common fears and misconceptions about reaching out to your network, including the belief that close contacts can't help.
- The Importance of Community: Shifting the mindset from "networking" to "building and relying on your community."
- The Importance of Boundaries: Understanding your own boundaries and respecting those of others.
- The Power of Your Inner Circle: Why your closest friends and family are often the most valuable part of your network.
- Communicating Your Needs Clearly: How to effectively articulate what you need from your network, whether you're a job seeker or an entrepreneur.
- Overcoming the "They Can't Help Me" Mindset: Why assuming your network can't help is a major barrier and how to change that.
- Specific Asks and Actionable Items: The importance of providing concrete examples, job descriptions, or one-pagers to guide your network.
- The importance of personalized networking: How your personal strengths impact your networking style.
Resources Mentioned:
- Human Design Readings (Eliza - ) -
- SheMoney (https://www.shemoney.com & @_shemoney_ )
- Strengths based development - Schedule a discovery call
Jean Madison Offers Complimentary Discovery calls - If you're curious to learn more about 1:1 coaching, Strengths, Team Work, Leadership Development or Hiring and Onboarding Consulting, click here to schedule your conversation and get started on the road to Whole Human Change.
Find me on Instagram: @JeanMadison_
Explore intentional career, life, & relationship coaching or organizational & team development Here
____
Take your CliftonStrenghts Assessment here
Book Your Whole Human Strengths Session Today!
Thank you. We are back this week with a conversation all about building and utilizing your network. So this past week I did a workshop focused on this exact topic building and utilizing your network from a more human standpoint, a more human approach to networking. And here's the deal I hate networking. I hate networking for the sake of it. I hate the idea of showing up to like a speed dating or a room full of people that I do not know to sell myself or my business or something of that nature. Like everything you can think of when you think of really traditional networking gives me the immense ick.
Jean Madison:I am very much an introvert. I have relator as a strength of mind very high in my top 10, which means that I prefer deep relationships and fewer of them. So the concept of like speed dating and networking and all of that just is not for me. I truly, truly, truly do not enjoy walking into a room of people that I don't know. I don't like doing social things for the first time, and that includes everything from like workout classes to attending a lecture community festival. Like I don't even like to go to the farmer's market by myself for the first time if I've not been before with someone else. It just the anxiety that it causes me is immense, and it really doesn't matter what it is. I do not like showing up in a place with a lot of people that I don't know. So going alone to something has never been my thing. It's always been excruciating to me, and on the other hand, I'm an entrepreneur whose business runs on new clients and connections. So I really do love supporting local businesses and supporting local gatherings in any way that I can, as long as it doesn't require me to show up physically most of the time. But no, I love connecting deeply with people. I do typically enjoy these events Once I get to them. I just have had to figure out a way for myself to actually get me there, and we'll talk about that a little bit later in this episode.
Jean Madison:But I just wanted to kind of paint this picture because I am not an extrovert. I do not have woo high in my strengths winning others over. I don't enjoy this, and so when you hear me talking about building and utilizing your network, I want you to know that that's where I'm coming from, if you are someone who, like, gets a thrill out of the idea of walking into a room of people you don't know, if you believe that strangers are just friends you haven't made yet, if the concept of traditional networking does not give you an icky feeling, then, like, this might not be the episode for you, but I still think you'll get something out of it. So it's not just for people who don't like traditional networking. We're going to talk a lot about the things that I think are big gaps in this concept of networking, especially depending on what your actual goal is for that action. So I do encourage you to keep listening, even if you are not like me, but just know that like that's the perspective I'm coming from and because of that perspective, I have worked really hard to figure out easier ways for me to build community and be able to utilize that community in a way that helps me in my career, in my life, et cetera, et cetera. I am all about making things easier, making things more aligned, making things you know align with my strengths, so that I'm doing things in a way that feels good for me and lights me up and fills my cup, rather than drains me as much as possible. So that's kind of where this whole concept of building and utilizing your network, the whole human way came from.
Jean Madison:So with that, let's dive into. We'll have two sections today. The first one will be all about building the network. The second will be all about utilizing the network. So we'll start with building, because obviously you got to build something in order to use it. So let's start there. So I'm going to start off today by sharing a few things that I would encourage you to keep in mind when it comes to building your network.
Jean Madison:The first piece of this is really about accepting who you are as a person. Are you a networking person? Are you not a networking person? Are you outgoing? Are you more shy? Are you an introvert? Are you an extrovert? Knowing these things about yourself is very important, because that's going to dictate how you actually go about meeting people, building relationships, creating this community around you.
Jean Madison:So for me, as I've mentioned, I'm not an extrovert. I do not enjoy going to quote unquote networking events or big events where I don't know anybody. There are, however, a million events that happen both virtually and in person here in Salt Lake that I desperately want to attend. So there's this real conflict within me of the thought of going to that thing by myself makes me feel physically ill and I so badly want to attend that event. So some examples I can give for myself are like there is a group here in Salt Lake called she Money. They put on different women in money events I have. I wanted to go to those events for a long time. I do go to them now because I've been so once I go once, I'm much more comfortable attending over and over again.
Jean Madison:But in order to get myself to go that one time I have to have a buddy. So my friend Charlie is much more of an extrovert than I am, especially in the entrepreneurial world, and so whenever she's going to an event I tag along like a little sister with her. If I want to go to something but I don't want to go by myself, I will typically reach out and see if she's planning on going. So for me, one of my tools and when it comes to accepting who I am in the world of relationship building, I do much better when I have a buddy. And so that might be Sam going to the farmer's market with me on a Saturday morning. That might be me tagging along with Charlie to the SheMoney Summit or some other networking event. Actually I've tagged along with Charlie to so many networking events in Salt Lake that thank you, charlie, I deeply appreciate you or even a workout class, for example, like I am much more comfortable going for the first time with a friend, I will go by myself after that, because I am also an introvert and like to be alone and like to do things by myself. So it's a very confusing thing for me, but that's just something that I know about myself. And so, instead of sitting here making myself feel sick, trying to convince myself to do something like go to a big networking event by myself, I just know that I need a buddy. So I ask someone else to go with me, and that's how I get myself to do things. So I ask someone else to go with me, and that's how I get myself to do things.
Jean Madison:So I want you to think about, like, what are the barriers in place for you? Maybe you love going to networking events, but maybe it's the follow up that's hard for you, or maybe it's going deeper into those relationships that's harder for you. One of the things that came up in our workshop was around like the systemization of networking, which we'll talk a little bit about in the utilization portion. But you know, maybe you're really good at going places and meeting people, but you don't really know what to do after that. So for me, the challenge is on the front end. For you, it may be somewhere else. I want you to really think about, like who you are as a person, who you are in relation to this idea of networking, and from that, what are the things that you need to overcome any of the obstacles that you experience when it comes to meeting people, building relationships and then utilizing those relationships right Now?
Jean Madison:The second thing that I want to point out is a little bit out of my realm of expertise. So I talk a lot about strengths on this podcast and in my work Outside of the data-based strengths. I'm also a huge fan of things like astrology and human design, but I'm not an expert in them by any means. But as I was thinking about how it is that I go about building my network and what my challenges are and what I need, a thing that I learned about myself from human design came up from my good friend, eliza, who did a human design reading for me. I will put her information in the show notes If you also want a human design reading. She's amazing, but one of the things I learned about my particular projector persona is that I tend to wait for I do best if I wait for the invitation, and so this is something where you know again, as we were talking about earlier, I have all these events I want to go to. It is hard for me to ask people to go with me, but if someone asks me to go, I'm like yes, I would love to go. Thank you for inviting me. So this is something that I have had to be vocal about with my colleagues, with my friends. You know, please invite me to that yoga class. Please invite me to that event next time you go.
Jean Madison:Right now with Isla, one of the big things is like mom groups. Like I am absolutely not showing up to one of those by myself, but I have a good friend who also has a baby. I have a couple of good friends who have babies who over the last year, have invited me to different things and I have gone and I've had a great time, but I'm not going to go by myself and I'm not going to show up on my own. So that's something that I've not only learned about myself, but had to communicate to other people. Like I want to be invited. Please invite me. If you're going and you think about me, let me know.
Jean Madison:So, thinking about who you are and this could be. You know, this could be astrology, this could be human design, it could be your strengths, it could be a whole host of things about yourself, like what are the things that not only you need from number one, but like what do you need to communicate to other people in terms of your needs? This could be like, if you are really outgoing and extroverted and you love networking events, like hey, friend, please let me know if I am coming off too strong or if I'm coming off you know too, whatever. Now I'm not here to tell you to like dim your light or dampen who you are, but we all know that maybe you get really really overexcited and you talk really, really, really fast. Right, just have someone be like hey, take a breath, you're talking really fast, let's slow it down just a little bit. That's a really kind of basic example.
Jean Madison:But I want you to come up with the things that seem to be barriers for you and how can you get those in your life to support you through them, not erase them, not change who you are, but just like help you acknowledge these things and notice these things about yourself. It's no one else's job to get me to do anything, but I can ask that if they're thinking about doing something, they let me know next time, because I would love to come, but I don't want to go alone, right, yeah, so those are two things that have come up for me personally when it comes to building my network. One of the things that came up in the workshop for a lot of other people is this especially if you are an entrepreneur but honestly, this really goes for the people I work with who are looking for new jobs as well. When I ask them about how they've kind of reached out to their network, a lot of them say they really haven't, because it feels icky, it feels for entrepreneurs, it feels too salesy, it feels like they're going to ruin a relationship because they asked for something or they asked for an introduction For someone looking for a new job. There's kind of this assumption that the people closest to you don't know what you do and can't be helpful, and I just think that that's a really big barrier and, when it comes to building your network, is something to really really keep in mind and notice when that's coming up and sabotaging you. Essentially, it's not icky and the biggest thing that I always, always, always encourage people to do the practice that I encourage when you're feeling like, oh, I don't want to reach out because I don't want to be a burden, I don't want to feel salesy, I don't want to feel icky it's like flip the script and put yourself in that person's shoes.
Jean Madison:If you were to come to you and say, hey, I'm looking for a new job and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah industry and this is what I'm looking to do. And I was just curious if you knew anyone that you would be willing to connect me with who happens to be in that For entrepreneurs. Someone comes to you and says, hey, like, this is my business and I'm really trying to grow it. I really need some help getting the word out about it, would you be willing to share this Instagram post? Would you be willing to connect me with some people in your circle that are, you know, insert ideal client here?
Jean Madison:If someone came to you and asked you that, in full integrity and with, you know, a lot of humility and genuine request for help and support, how would you feel? I imagine that it would feel pretty good. I love when people come to me and say, hey, I'm trying to find a new job, I'm trying to build my business, I'm trying to do this thing. Would you be willing to help? Yeah, I would love to. And, like that is me, I do love supporting small businesses and I do love supporting people in finding new work, and that's why I do the work I do.
Jean Madison:But I think that someone you're close to is going to feel honored that you thought of them as important enough or trustworthy enough to ask for help. Sure, there are to be people that are like two layers out, that you ask, that you don't really have strong relationships with. But here's the thing, and this is what I really really want you to remember whenever you're having that feeling of it feels icky to reach out and ask these questions or ask for help or whatever it is for you, it is my job to uphold my boundaries. It's not your job to anticipate and prepare for my boundaries. So if you come to me and you say, hey, could you help me with this thing, it is up to me to decide if I am able to do that thing or not.
Jean Madison:You sitting in your head and saying well, I don't want to reach out because I know they're busy and you know they may not even have an answer for me and I really don't want to bug them and blah, blah, blah, like you're making a decision for them. You're not even giving them the opportunity to say yes or no to you. And maybe you come to me and you ask me for that and I'm like you know what, right now, I am really really booked up in order to help you find a new job, you would have to, like, come do a session with me, because that's just like how it's working for me right now. Um, you know, here's a link If you want to book a session, let's do it in a formal manner. In the meantime, like, I will keep an eye out on LinkedIn and send you anything I see. Right, like that's me upholding my own boundaries there. If I don't uphold those boundaries and I say yes and I offer to help you for free, that's on me. If I feel resentful for that, that's on me, that's not on you. So I just want you to remember that that, like A most people want to help and feel honored when asked.
Jean Madison:Also, it's not your job to determine and uphold someone else's boundaries. It's only your job to determine and uphold someone else's boundaries. It's only your job to determine and uphold your own. It's their job to say no if they don't have the capacity or the interest to help you. Okay, write that one down. Write it down, remind yourself of it when you start to feel that feeling of like, oh, this is icky, okay, so that's a little bit more in the utilizing your network um conversation. So I'll I'll talk a little bit more about that in a minute, but of course, I'm jumping around here because it is who I am and I can't help myself. So, when it comes to building the building part of your network, the big, most important things are knowing who you are and how you operate and taking action to build your network in alignment with that. The more you can take action in alignment with who you are and how you build community and relationships, the more sustainable the process is going to be.
Jean Madison:If you're trying to be like someone else, if you're trying to do networking and relationship building the way that, like your university told you was the only way to do it, or something like that, it's probably not going to go well. You're probably going to burn yourself out. You're probably going to be miserable. If I did networking the way that I was taught to do networking in college, I would have no network. I would have no one. But instead I follow who I am, which is I enjoy having deep relationships, a deep conversations.
Jean Madison:I think about every time I've been to a conference. I always find someone to talk to for the entire lunch period and we go very, very, very deep and then I maybe don't talk to anyone the rest of the and we go very, very, very deep and then I maybe don't talk to anyone the rest of the day because that was like my social tank, but I actually made a connection with that person, which means it feels much better for me to follow up with them to say hey, remember we talked about this thing. Are you still willing to help with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah For me? That works. For you, it might not, so you need to know what works for you. I that works For you. It might not, so you need to know what works for you.
Jean Madison:I want you to think about networking the way you think about any sort of relationship building, making friends as an adult also fun and sometimes terrifying. You know how you've dated in the past, how you have built relationships with the people that you work with or are in a company with. Right Like, I'm sure you have relationships with people who are not on your immediate team. How did you meet and connect with them? Think about the ways you've already done this in your life and build on that, rather than thinking you need to do something entirely different or entirely out of your comfort zone in order to build a professional network.
Jean Madison:And what this comes down to, and what we talked about in the workshop, is I want you to use different words. So, when you're thinking about building and utilizing your network which, when I say it like that, might feel a little like oh, using my network, utilizing my network I could never take advantage of people, right Like, how many people heard take advantage of when I said the word using your network or utilizing your network. So instead, I want you to choose different words. You can choose words that work for you or you can borrow the ones that we created in the workshop, which is build and rely, build and lean on your community. That's all you're doing. That's what a network is. A network is a community. It might be a less close community. It might be a more professional community, but, like it's still a community that you build and then lean on. So if that language feels better for you, then use that language. If other language feels better for you because you feel like there needs to be this separation between the professional and the personal, great, like, figure out what language works for you.
Jean Madison:At the end of the day, the thing I want you to really really, really, really really think about is utilizing your network, leaning on your community. I would say, nine times out of 10, when I ask a client, okay, tell me about your network, like, what have you done to kind of build up your network? Who would you say is in your network? You know they can answer that question pretty much no problem. And then I say, okay, how have you reached out to your network? How have you leaned on them? How have you utilized that? And nine times out of 10, I get really blank stares of like, well, I haven't. I'm like, okay, well then what's the point of a network? The entire point of building a network, the entire point of cultivating a community, is to be able to interact with that community, to be able to lean on that community to be able to utilize the connections that you've made in that network.
Jean Madison:If you are not leaning on your community or utilizing your network, you're just kind of wasting your time. You're just like continuing to. It's almost like hoarding right. You're like hoarding all of these connections and relationships and you're not using any of them, so they're just collecting dust on a shelf. So the most important part of this conversation is what we're going to talk about now, which is utilizing your network, because if you're not doing that, then I don't like to say you're doing things wrong, but you're not going to get anywhere if you're not willing to actually lean into the work that you've done to build a community and use it. So I mentioned this earlier in this conversation.
Jean Madison:But here are some of the reasons that people feel like they can't actually reach out to the people that they've connected with and ask for something. They're either afraid of it coming off as salesy or impersonal. They're afraid of damaging close relationships by quote unquote selling to them or asking them for something. They believe that the people closest to them don't have much to offer. So they spend all their time and energy trying to find new people that they think are going to have a lot to offer. They don't feel like they have enough you know, experience or whatever it is to go and say, hey, can you recommend me for this role? Or can you connect me with this leader, or can you connect me with this organization that I can pitch my work to? There's a lot of this kind of imposter syndrome that goes into things, I think, when it comes to networking. But there's also this piece of like not knowing how to reach out and feeling like you are taking advantage of people.
Jean Madison:So when I'm working with people and we talk about utilizing your network, I kind of put it into two, your network, into two big buckets. There's the part of your network that's like professional connections, people you went to a networking event and met. You were at a conference and you handed out your card to people. Right, like these are professional connections, connections maybe and that's like the furthest out layer. These are like people that you do not really have any solid foundational relationship with. It's just like you met them once you connected on LinkedIn. Great, one layer in from that, I would say, are like your professional colleagues, the people you work with, the people you've worked with in the past, clients. You know anything in that realm where, like, maybe you have a little bit deeper relationship because you've spent more time together, but it's still very professional. And then the part of the network that people always, always, always, always, always overlook is their close personal relationships friends, family, in-laws, family friends, your parents, friends, yeah, anything that's in that, like that close circle where you would say, when I say that you're like that's not part of my network, I'm not going to reach out to them when I'm trying to find a new job. Exactly that's why we're talking about this today. That is why we are here. So let's talk about how to utilize each of those three different groups the like I met you at a networking event. Group. The I've worked with you in the past and have a little bit deeper relationship with you. Group. And the close personal relationships group the I've met you and networked with you.
Jean Madison:I think the biggest thing with that is just to determine, like, do you actually want to build a relationship with any of those people? If so, you're going to have to actually take the action to build a relationship. Ask them to go for coffee, have a virtual coffee chat, you know. Invite them to another networking event and go with them. Whatever it is, you're going to have to actually take action to spend time with those people, and I would say for that, I would encourage you to do that only with people that you genuinely want to connect with, not necessarily just with the people that you're like oh, they might be good for me and my profession down the road. If it's both of those things, great, I love that for you.
Jean Madison:But I wouldn't spend a lot of time and energy just trying to build a friendship or something or relationship with someone because of the professional expediency of it. It's just probably not going to work, to be honest. Like, if you don't have shared values and you don't have shared interests, even in a professional sense, it's just, it's going to be a waste of energy. So think about the people you've met at networking events, you've exchanged information with LinkedIn, whatever it is, and say, like, who actually are you curious about? Who do you see? And you're like, wow, that person's really impressive and I would love to know more about what they do and how they do it. Like, who are you genuinely excited to communicate with? And those are the people that I would encourage you to attempt to build relationship with, right. So that's group number one, that furthest out group.
Jean Madison:I think that's pretty straightforward Um in terms of like staying connected with people who might be professionally expedient for you, like when they post something on LinkedIn, congratulate them like, actually write a comment in that Um. If, uh, you know the event that you met at, post something like, share it with them and be like, oh, you know, I saw this pop up and I thought about you and I just wanted to say hi and see how everything's going. Like you can do those kinds of like surface level connections to keep that um, that like conversation going, but just know that that's not building up a lot of relationship capital for you to use Um, and so it might feel uncomfortable down the road. If you want to request something from them and you're like I don't feel like we actually have a relationship to lean on Again, do that and then if you decide at some point you do need their support, then you can dive into building a relationship with them. The second bucket of people that like people you've worked with colleagues, former colleagues this one's really interesting and I'm just gonna speak from my personal feelings about this rather than kind of going into how everyone might feel.
Jean Madison:But when in the past, I've been trying to build my business or find a new job or something like that, I really hesitated to reach out to my professional network, the people that I know and have worked with, my colleagues, etc. Because for a couple of reasons one, because maybe I was applying for a role that I felt I wasn't qualified for and I felt if I reached out to them and asked them for help, they were going to be like girl, you're not qualified for that, which I don't think any of them really would have done. But that's what I told myself in my head. Or, you know, if it comes to my business, like, I am a little bit self-conscious of sharing the work that I do with some of my former colleagues. I little bit self-conscious of sharing the work that I do with some of my former colleagues. I think that they are such incredibly impressive human beings and for some reason I don't think that about myself in comparison to them all the time.
Jean Madison:Hi, this is a really honest moment for you all, and so it is really hard for me to reach out and say like hey, you know, are you looking for strengths for teams? Could I do that for your team. Hey, like, could you share my podcast or listen to my podcast? Here's the work I'm doing in general, because I had a very specific identity when I worked in those previous places and that identity has evolved since then and so it's a little uncomfortable to be like hey, here is who I am right now.
Jean Madison:But, all of that being said, it is incredibly important to kind of build up the courage to reach out to and connect with your colleagues. They ultimately know you, especially if you were close, like they've seen you at work, they've seen you in action and I promise you, for the most part, they probably think you're far more impressive than you do, and so asking for help and this does not mean just being salesy, I think this is the other thing, and this might have to be an entirely separate episode based on where we're at at time, right now, but I, when I reach out to my network in that way and the people that I was close with and worked with, it's like I'm asking for their help. So the other day I reached out to one of my close friends and former colleagues and was like hey, can you look over this pitch proposal for me and just let me know, like, if you were on the receiving end of this as a leader, what would you think? Right, I'm not actually asking her to read the pitch for her team. If she decides she wants to do that, great, you know, like I would love to work with that, but I'm not going to always take advantage of that. Right, like, I may ask her at some point if her team is interested in my work, but for right now I just want her to know what my work is, and part of the way I can do that and also like get help is say hey, can you review this document for me and let me know what you think and what comes up. Again, she doesn't have to. She can say no. She can say I don't have capacity for that right now. I'm so sorry, I don't care. Like, we'll still be friends, it's no big deal. But those are some of the ways that you can really think about utilizing the relationships that you have, people that you've worked with is like having them review things for you, having them do referrals for you or references or things like that. Whenever I'm asked for something like that from a former colleague, I am deeply honored, and so any former colleagues that are listening to this. If you ever want help, my help with anything, I would love to help you. I miss you. I miss working with you. I love when people ask and if I don't have the capacity I'll tell them you know. So that's one way to think about utilizing your um like middle circle, I would say and again, we can talk way more about things that we can do with that but I want to talk about this inner circle piece.
Jean Madison:Every time I'm talking to a potential job changer or an entrepreneur who's trying to build their business, I ask them if they have told their families about what they're looking for or what they're doing, asked their closest friends for help and support. The answer is always no, literally always, and there's a couple of reasons for that. From the entrepreneur standpoint, I think there's a little bit of what I was talking about earlier of like kind of this embarrassment of this is what I'm doing now and like I don't know if everyone in my life is going to be on board with that and that could be very real. Like to be on board with that and that could be very real. Like I'm. I'm very much talking about this like inner circle, assuming that it is a safe place. If it's not a safe place for you, obviously do not spend your time and energy taking your innermost work to these people or taking your innermost needs and desires to these people. Right, I am assuming that this is a generally safe place for you. Maybe it's your chosen family, maybe it's your actual family, maybe it's just your close friends. You decide on what that inner circle is when we're having this conversation, but most people say no, I have not gone and talk to them. I already shared the entrepreneurial reason.
Jean Madison:A reason for job seekers. The number one reason I hear from job seekers is well, they're not in my industry. They don't know what I do. They don't know anybody that does what I do, so there's really no way that they could be helpful to me. So why would I even reach out? And that is the biggest point that I want to contest? A? I know for entrepreneurs it's challenging to sometimes put our stories out there, put our work out there, and risk like hearing what people have to say about it. Whenever I have done that, I have found that most people receive it very well, are very kind and are willing to help. The same thing goes for this idea of job seeking.
Jean Madison:And for both of these, both of you, entrepreneurs and job seekers I have the same thing to say, which is, if you do not tell your people what you do, if you do not tell your people what you need, what kinds of clients you want, what kinds of work you're looking for, what kinds of people you want to be connected with, you're absolutely right. They're not going to be able to help you. They're not Because you're also right that most of the people around you probably aren't doing the thing that you're doing, and even if they are, they might be in a completely different industry doing it, or just years apart from where you are and not really like feel like they can help you in that way. So I just want you to kind of recognize if that's the thing that you've been saying, right, that they can't help me, and then remind yourself that, like they probably want to, they just don't know how. So I will use myself as an example.
Jean Madison:And then one of my clients is an example for me as an entrepreneur and a coach. Yeah, I'm sure most of the people around me would know to say like, yeah, she's a coach. I think she does career coaching. I don't really know what that means. I think she does life coaching. I don't really know what that means. I know she does career coaching. I don't really know what that means. I think she does life coaching. I don't really know what that means. I know she does strengths, though, but I don't really know what that means either. You see what I'm getting at Like.
Jean Madison:If I have not explicitly explained to the people closest to me what I do and the types of people I work with, the types of organizations I work with, the actual work that I do at a, you know, third grade level or whatever it is, you're right, they're not going to be a huge help to me. But that's on me, not them. So it's my job to get very, very clear about the work that I do in a way that is digestible for someone who's not looking for the work that I do, if that makes sense. So I want my parents to be able to talk about the work that I do in a clear way, and I'm sure we have not mastered this yet. I am certain of that. I want people to send me the right kinds of clients, which means I need to be very clear with them about what kinds of clients I'm looking for. But if I don't do that with them, I cannot expect them to help. So, yeah, there might be a lot of people in my friend group and my family and my family friends who would love to help me and just don't know how. I have to be the one that initiates that. I have to be the one that asks, I have to be the one that shares what I'm doing.
Jean Madison:And before I did this workshop, I started really walking my talk on this because I was like I cannot show up to this workshop not having utilized my network. So for the last couple of weeks I have been really intentionally reaching out to both the people that I'm very personally close with, as well as people that I've sort of met through events and have kind of maintained a relationship with, um and everything in between, to tell them about the work that I'm doing. I've created one pagers that are, you know, one-on-one coaching for the nine to fiver who is looking for personal and professional development, and then a whole page on like what that looks like at whole human co right and that way I can send that to them and I can say, hey, like, this is what I'm doing, this is what I'm looking for, like to do with clients. So if you know of anyone who might benefit from this, please either send them this one pager or connect us. I have a very specific ask for people. I have very specific information I can share with them. This also goes for you if you are job searching. Right, like, have a, have your resume ready, but have some job description examples ready. Like, these are the types of roles I'm interested in, these are the types of people I would like to be connected with.
Jean Madison:I know in your brain you're like well, my parents come from a very different work environment than me. They couldn't possibly have any connections. But like, okay, let's say, your mom's best friend. I'm going to use my husband's work as an example. He's a mechanical engineer, project manager. So his parents, good friend. Yeah, they might be a school teacher. So it's like, why would I ask them? But did you know that their partner is an engineer for an engineering firm, or that their brother or sister are part of an engineering firm? Right, like you probably don't know that I have my husband, a sister-in-law and her partner are all, like, high level engineers.
Jean Madison:Just because I have a social justice studies major doesn't mean you can't come to me for engineering help, but you won't know that if you don't ask, and so you need to be very, very clear about what it is you're looking for in terms of a job. You need to be able to talk about that at a basic level so that most people can understand. You need to give people the language to use so that they can help you and give very specific asks like hey, can you think about your network? And if you have anyone that's adjacent to or in this industry, could you please connect me with them? Or hi, I know you know this person. Could you connect me with them? Or I know you worked for this company before. Can you help me with an application? Like? You need to be very specific and again, I do also want to asterisk that this works for me and my relator For you.
Jean Madison:There may be some different tactics and strategies for you to employ because of who you are, what your strengths are, how you best connect with people and operate. We're probably not going to figure that out unless we have an individual conversation together. I'm really only speaking from the perspective of the clients I've worked with in the past and myself. So tell your parents what you're looking for, even if they were school teachers and a firefighter and you are trying to be a CFO of a tech company, right, like, talk to them, talk to your family, talk to your friends again if it's safe, and really let them give them the opportunity to help you. If they don't, fine, but you can at least say that you've given the opportunity and, like, opened that door. I'm going to leave that there for today. I'll probably come back and talk more about building and utilizing your network, because it's just a much longer conversation.
Jean Madison:But the things I really want you to walk away with are sometimes the people closest to you are the ones that are going to help you the most, because they're the ones that have the most buy-in. Those random people you met at a networking event they don't I'm not trying to be mean, but like they don't know you, they don't care about you, they don't have any skin in the game, but like people close to you care about you, they want to see you succeed. They just maybe don't know how to help. So do not write off that closest circle of your community because you feel like professionally they're not aligned with you. That's number one.
Jean Madison:The other piece is around building your network. Know who you are, know how you operate. Yes, you're probably still going to have to step outside your comfort zone, but do so in a way that is sustainable, like with me and getting friends to invite me to things and asking people to come with me so that I'm not alone. That's my buffer to doing things that still feel uncomfortable, which is like going to a networking event. It doesn't mean I don't go, it just means I find a way to make it a little bit more sustainable for me.
Jean Madison:So those are the two big things I want you to walk away with today figuring out who you are and how you operate in relationship building and do what you need to do to make that happen. And do not underestimate the inner circle of your life. People love you, they want to help you, they want to see you succeed. It is up to them to uphold their own boundaries, not you. So that was a lot. Hopefully you got something out of this. I would love to hear what your biggest takeaways were from the episode today. Feel free to share those in the comments or shoot me an email If you have follow-up questions that you would like to hear me dive into on the podcast. Feel free to also leave those in the comments or send me an email or reach out to me on Instagram at JeanMadison underscore. But until then I will see you all back here for our next episode of so Glad you Asked.
